i haven't been that person
who talks and laugh confidently
nor have i been that person
who is outgoing and cheerful

though i have once been
but it's all over now

i hate myself for the person i've become
a pathetic loner and an awkward seal
the words i tell myself
are the most cruel and harsh

others see me as
the girl who is quite, awkward and shy
innocent, smart and annoyingly kind
to some others

i was respected in school
in a way that they wouldnt even crack a joke
without getting the feeling
i would be affected by it

i dont know how i seem to them
but it is something i seem to care most
the impression of others;
though i dont know why