IT WASN'T BY ACCIDENT THAT I HIRED THE SHORTEST MAID IN THE WORLD! Hey! Where's this maid of yours? Right there. Where? In front of you. I don't see her. Here, use this magnifying glass. I still don't see her. Well, try this electron microscope then. Oh yeah, there she is.

THE GOOD IDEAS KEEP COMING! To inoculate against sickness, inject dog excrement with spoiled mayonnaise and hope for the best
and then put an ounce of sugar in your left bra cup. It will hurt at first but you'll get used to it 'cause you don't have to worry about **** when you're mega-rich with huge ******!

YEARS OF SMALLNESS - When I was smaller (before the x-rays) I couldn't reach anything on the top shelf anywhere. I was alone except for the people who followed me everywhere. I had a mole on my nose that my brother fed to his snake. Beastly little mole, like a chinchilla except not as gerbil-friendly as a real gerbil. My liver was fine till you poured Tabasco sauce on it!