Long before tires became radial, women without common sense roamed the land: tumbling down steep embankments, eating noodles in the ****. One day, sixty and a half trillion centuries ago (or thereabouts), a youthful woman (no older than 31) took a swim in the Amazon River alone, without her friend Tina. Tina was a plump gal with long blonde arms and a small philtrum that made men want to have lunch with her till she puked. "Tina!" Mona called, concerned but not frantic. "I have a lovely bunch of Mexican men for you, 50% drug dealers, 34% junkies!" Later, after Tina washed her ******, she walked off a cliff and was okay because it wasn't very high up and the ground was soft because several ponies just took a gooey **** there.