BIG BOB'S SURVIVAL TESTIMONY - In the first few days I survived exclusively on light-weight birds. I would have one for brunch (as I often skipped breakfast because of **** warts), and another for early supper. I had a cigarette lighter shaped like Regis Philbin (or Mary Philbin) that saved me from bear-attack. When the bear was hibernating, I lit his fur (killing him till he died). On the seventeenth day, I woke up to the awful sound of a feminist advocating abortion while stopping traffic with her big **** because she hated global warming so much that it made her want to have yearly abortions for some reason.