Time flows by like sand through a sieve.
The  hourglass doesn’t slow or forgive.
My heartbeat pounding in my ears,
next logical step drowned by my fears.
Hard to move forward when you seem frozen in place.
Teetering like a delicate sculpture ready to break.
Shaped by my past my present rips me apart. Choose a path…. But instead i graph and chart.
Which way is best, not painful, truthful no ruse, but the answers don’t line up and so my heart i  just confuse.
Perhaps looking for the path that carries no pain,
Is what is setting me off course making me insane?
It doesn’t really exist, it’s called apathy and going numb.
I don’t want to lose myself to the temptation, i wont succumb.
But what’s the alternative this constant uncertainty, pain, and grief.
Cycle on repeat no break or relief?
Worn out by the burden of carrying it all
pushed beyond capacity becoming small.
I’ve taught myself to be less to avoid the pain
rejection, irritation, anger, being called a drain.
Careful of who i let see more than just a shadow
Hiding behind the image they want to bestow.
I find myself longing to just break free.
Release the self made constraints holding me.