May 22
GARY COOPER KISSED HIS GAY LOVER passionately for two hours till a fresh gay lover was delivered to John Wayne's garish dungeon by the movie studio's executive for gay replacement lovers. "Thanks for the fresh homosexual," Gary Cooper said politely as those close to him were horrified by the obvious fact that this handsome matinee idol was more festive than a liver-pink picnic basket floating in a bubbly sea of curdled butter milk.
***** WANTED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL BOWLER, so she joined a bowling league of ex-lesbian bowlers. Every Saturday the league met at Big Lulu's Ex-Lesbian Bowling Alley to practice. It was fun and educational for ***** to learn bowling tricks while discussing ex-lesbian topics that weren't discussed in other bowling alleys. One day, as she was waxing her ball, a large ex-lesbian approached from behind. "Hi, my name's Kandee Funnel and I've been an ex-lesbian for 12 minutes. How about you?" ***** smiled at that and proclaimed herself to be a non-ex-lesbian who just wanted to bowl. From that moment on Kandee and ***** became fast friends: bowling in the ****, eating ham sandwiches three at a time, raising chinchillas for Canadian furriers.
MY DAD WAS AS MASCULINE AS TOM SELLECK before he started kissing men (Selleck, not my dad). One day, in the garden where dad & I were raising chinchillas for big money, a hurricane swept through suddenly. The forceful wind took us high above the trees to a magical world of fairies and pixies where bubble gum was free (or really cheap). And then, totally unexpected, Jesus appeared in a long robe without pockets. "Jesus! Where do you put your stuff in a robe without pockets?!" I asked. Jesus just looked at me like an angel looks at ****-straps and brassieres. "I do not need pockets because Jehovah is my Father," He replied softly, even though it was really windy. Since I didn't want to **** Him off a second time I didn't say anything else till the wind stopped and we were gently set down among our chinchillas like nothing happened. To this day neither of us have spoken of this.
MARBLES ARE ALWAYS FREE at Big Bob's Ex-Lesbian Jamboree where a chick can wear alligator boots without ex-lesbians with cash climbing up and down her fat ***.
***** WANTED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL BOWLER, so she joined a bowling league of ex-lesbian bowlers. Every Saturday the league met at Big Lulu's Ex-Lesbian Bowling Alley to practice. It was fun and educational for ***** to learn bowling tricks while discussing ex-lesbian topics that weren't discussed in other bowling alleys. One day, as she was waxing her ball, a large ex-lesbian approached from behind. "Hi, my name's Kandee Funnel and I've been an ex-lesbian for 12 minutes. How about you?" ***** smiled at that and proclaimed herself to be a non-ex-lesbian who just wanted to bowl. From that moment on Kandee and ***** became fast friends: bowling in the ****, eating ham sandwiches three at a time, raising chinchillas for Canadian furriers.
MY DAD WAS AS MASCULINE AS TOM SELLECK before he started kissing men (Selleck, not my dad). One day, in the garden where dad & I were raising chinchillas for big money, a hurricane swept through suddenly. The forceful wind took us high above the trees to a magical world of fairies and pixies where bubble gum was free (or really cheap). And then, totally unexpected, Jesus appeared in a long robe without pockets. "Jesus! Where do you put your stuff in a robe without pockets?!" I asked. Jesus just looked at me like an angel looks at ****-straps and brassieres. "I do not need pockets because Jehovah is my Father," He replied softly, even though it was really windy. Since I didn't want to **** Him off a second time I didn't say anything else till the wind stopped and we were gently set down among our chinchillas like nothing happened. To this day neither of us have spoken of this.
MARBLES ARE ALWAYS FREE at Big Bob's Ex-Lesbian Jamboree where a chick can wear alligator boots without ex-lesbians with cash climbing up and down her fat ***.
