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by
Eliot
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Poems
May 21
BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
with a big mason jar of fake squirrel scrotums in peroxide. "What's that?!" The prettiest woman at the party asks. "Squirrel scrotums!" You exclaim with manly confidence which compels her to reply: "Even though I'm a committed lesbian with many years of experience, the fact that you brought squirrel scrotums in peroxide to a party makes me want to engage in *** with you freely." Later, after you π±π’π³π΅π¦π₯ π©π¦π³ π΄π©π°π³π¦π΄, you tell her that the squirrel scrotums are fake to which she responds: "I don't care. Being with you has turned me into an ex-lesbian forever. I want to become a Christian now and live in a nice house that's NOT made of oriented strand board."
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