You can smoke hash in the bathtub. You can falsely accuse a baby as being "up to something". You can barbecue ribs at MetLife stadium. (Jets ****.) You can dye your hair blue and insist everyone call you Pegasus. You can go to church every week, convince yourself you're good, and still hate people for illogical reasons. You can huff paint under a bridge with a magical troll that grants wishes if you satisfy him sexually. When in reality the troll is just a broken shopping cart. Have you ever tried to consume a punch bowl full of pecans while speed dating? You can do that. You can go to the park and paint your toenails whilst you rehearse lines from "The Sound of Music" with strangers. You can send Anna Kendrick your toenails clippings and hope she returns the favor. See? These are just some of the things you can do. You're really only limited by your own imagination. So quit ******* about your freedoms you unoriginal flem stain.