He had that appointment
yesterday morning.
I stopped by to switch cars
and see how he's doing.

Mainly to switch cars I guess.

Walked in and found him asleep
in the big chair in front of
the even bigger TV.

I hollered from the kitchen,
I didn't want to take my boots off
or walk across the living room.

He woke up.
We chatted about
big nothings,
the appointment never came up.
We joked and laughed
and smiled and then
I went home.

I guess he's fine,
I mean, I guess we're all fine.
Until the day we aren't.

It's been harder for me lately
to look him in the eyes,
not just him either.
Everyone in my life
that loves me,
my gaze glances off the floor
and walls and windows.

It's always easier
with someone who I'm just meeting,
someone not invested. I can look right
through their glassy windows
all day long. Intimacy among strangers.

I can't even speak much
anymore.

Everything I need to say just
gets stuck in my teeth
and I end up just rambling about,
mouth spewing
inconsequentialites
through a big smile.

More beer, I'll stop thinking about it.
Just one more night.
I'll deal with it
tomorrow.