I was always in such a rush
to find the trick behind it all.
I wanted to understand
how ants divide labor, and
how vacuum cleaners **** dust.

I wanted someone
to pat me on the shoulder and tell me: -congratulations,
you cracked the code-
it’s all downhill from here.

I looked for answers
in text books, YouTube,
Late night debates
with my smartest friends
in the parking lot
of that Burger King no longer exists,
Feminist slam poetry
with a bunch of middle class revolutionaries,
Recorded post-modern philosophy classes, and every
self
help
book out there.

I listened to all the theories,
read all the arguments.
stitch them into
a patchwork blanket /
theory of everything.

But I still can’t explain:
- Why I wake up on this bed all alone?
- What took you out of my arms?
- How did we drift 855km away?
- When will it all make sense?
- What is all this ******* pain for?

Can someone please tell me.