I don't live in a state of mourning
I visit a few days a year
I really just have to feel
What I continue to push down

Sometimes I plan the visit
Save up my tears to spill
At the right time
Pack up the sadness
Let it sit in the corner
Waiting

Sometimes I drive there
In the middle of the night
The suitcase too heavy
The sky falling with the weight
Of my tears

I don't call ahead
I don't plan on going
The car drives itself
Start to recognize where I'm heading
Push on the brakes
They won't budge
Forward momentum
No way to stop

"It's not the right time"
Scream and protest
Don't get out of the car
But now the rains a hurricane

I didn't have time to pack the despair
It just pours out
Raging winds rattle the windows
It's coming in if I don't go out
I let the suitcase get too full

This place doesn't
care about my schedule  
Responsibilities pushed aside
By the impromptu visit

I open the door and realize
The sky is blue
The storm is only on the inside
I have to accept that I'm here

It's a good familiar place
I've already picked the rug
Hung the tapestries
Now I just sit
Open the suitcase
Soak it in
Let myself feel
Until it's over
Get back in the car

I don't live in a state of mourning
Don't let it consume me
I visit a few days a year
And I'll be back