I say it in a poem
because I can't say it out loud.
Because                                             I won't.
                                                            Risk
the embarrassment of your
                                                         laughter
                                                      disapproval
                                                         rejection.
I like to be the one
doing the
                                                       Alienating.
I imagine the way
your eyebrows would
furrow together.

The way
you'd find an                                   excuse
                                                        to leave.

The way
                                                        Regret
would feel.
Filling my mouth
with the coppery
taste of blood.