I want to vanish
not like a whisper
but like a wound that healed without leaving a scar

To slip between moments
so quietly
even time forgets it once knew my name

No eulogies
no echoes
no unfinished songs in someone’s heart

I want to vanish
Not just disappear...
But evaporate
Quietly
Completely
Without a trace
Without a name
Without even a memory to whisper
"I was here"

I want to forget myself so perfectly
That even I
Don’t remember I ever wanted to forget
No lingering pain
No fading laughter
No aching nostalgia curled in old corners of my chest

I crave the blankness
Not death....
but the freedom of never having been

No shadows of  "almost"
No scent of "before"
No mirrors reminding me I once was more
No yesterday
No could-have-beens
No photographs of people I used to be

I want the kind of stillness
That doesn’t ask questions
No "what happened?"
No "why haven't you got married?"
No "who hurt you?"
No "are you okay?"
Because in oblivion....
There are no answers
Only absence

I don’t want healing
I don’t want closure
I want nothing
Nothing to carry
Nothing to crave
No flames inside
Not even ashes

So I beg you please
Let me un-be
Let the stars forget I ever watched them
Let the winds forget how I once wept into them
Let every thought of me dissolve
Like breath on a cold windowpane
Here.... then gone
Gone.... then never

I want to Vanish
Not lost because... lost things can be found
But unmade
Unwritten
Unremembered

Let even me forget the shape of my sorrow
Let even me forget the texture of joy
Strip me of stories, of my scars
of "why”

Let me dissolve into silence
so complete
it doesn’t even echo

I'd even prefer to be
Not the silence in the room
But the space before the room ever was
Not a shadow fading
But the light that never cast it

I want to go where even souls dont go
Where not even God says
"Return"