Suppose to be fun but it's not the veteran musicians expect your results they don't care how you feel or what you think. Still a beginner taking on years of experience. Not backing down playing frustrated trying to keep up learning on the fly. Trying to play at professional level that's become second nature.
Working on tempo struggling with the tempo lost with the tempo deaf  tone with the change up it all has a consistent flow need to study and analyze the song to make sense of it all.
Trying to let all those feelings and emotions come out vibrate fluxate with the creative process.