Home for me is somewhere over the rainbow, at my great grandparents
house. Well it was once my home before I left the family gathering place. When I
think of home it's the place: I can rest, feel the best and live life without stress.
Today I do not come home without stress because I don’t feel the best or get
enough rest to help my days go by. There are days I come to this house where I
get no reply, it even gets to the point where all I can do is cry. Where am I at, this
house is not a home, its just like I'm trapped up in this dome yelling to these four
walls “there is no place like home. There's no place like home.” In this house I
do not feel the protection I seek, if anything I only feel weak. Is this disturbing,
can you picture it now? Well guess what times up, time to go, see you later, ciao!
I got to find way back home, back to the place where me and my cousins use to
roam. However where are we now, separated trapped in this house with no
where to go, no family to see, OH HELL NO! I can not take it anymore, I really
have to go. Tic-Toc Tic-Toc, My brains about to blow! Get me out of this place
take me away, I want to go back, not tomorrow but today. Where are my loved
ones? They have gone to soon, now to a better place now up in the sky with all
the balloons.
Its been a long time since I've walked through doors of this place I call home.
Home is much less than it used to be. Where is all the laughter, the joy, you know
the family? Come on, jokes over you've got to be kidding. What happened to all
the barbecues, the 4th of July's and all the thanksgiving? Is this what we have
come to, a family with no more tradition. Just because Grandma and Grandpa
aren't here we start to lose our ambition. This is not right, this separation the
divide that only leads to total deprivation. I scream to up beyonder “Grandma and
Grandpa you've got to come back come help before the foundation you’ve
created begins to crack.”
Was all that had happened just a lie? The tiny voice in my head keeps
screaming who am I? Is my home today, what it used to be or is it just me? What
am I to believe, when I sit here just trying breathe an process the thought as to
where my expectations should be in reference to the place I call home. Its like I've
become so numb and its hard to look in the mirror to see what I have become. Its
hard to believe that the place I once called home is no longer what it was, and
just by looking at me you cannot tell the damage that it does. Remember when I
said, “ home is where the heart resides,' I left out one part, its for you to decide. So
to me I am homeless with a heart in search of a place. Now all I have to do is
figure out how to keep it on a stable pace, because without a home there is no
safety. All that is left is for me to walk alone bravely.