the thought strikes
clings with its whole might
just take the blade
before old scars fade
fighting to keep the thoughts at bay
just cut the inside pain away
hugging my tear soaked pillow
drowning in my sorrow
I shakingly sit up
Reach for the blade where it was last put
I know I shouldn’t be doing this
But the pain I cant help but miss
It silences how I feel inside
I don’t always do it to die
Just to do at least one thing
That no one else is controlling
I really want to now
To stop I don’t know how
So I give in and take the razor
Raise my pant legs and hover over
Bring the knife to my skin
Till my legs get crimson
When im done with my thing
My poor thighs sting
Now I don’t focus on the inside pain
Or feel as insane
I just let the bleeding
Do the healing.