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Nov 2013
There are so many critics
They all want something more
I'm sick and tired of faking
That I am happy still.
There are so many demons
They all want to break me down
I'm sick and tired of trying
To make everyone else happy.

So this time I will hold my breath
Count to three and pray it be over.
I just want to let it all end.
There are so many helpers
But I still feel so **** helpless.

I'm crying here
All alone left on the floor.
I'm dying here
I want help but can't accept
That you're there for me all along
That you want me to stick around.
But I know I'm not better here
I'm scared I'll let you down.

You have tried so hard to help me
But you just don't understand
No matter how much help I get given
I'm still sick of being around.
I know it's not fair to do this
But I'm not quite sure you see
I want the help I really do
But I always feel so down.

I'm crying here
All alone to face my fears
I'm dying here
Even though I know you're there
But there's one thing I can't help but think
Is this the way it's meant to be?
Am I meant to try and hide my pain
To try and prevent it all from affecting you.

I'm not sure if I can do this
I never meant to hurt you bad
But I needed to know you would be there for me
No matter what went wrong.
But I guess  I pushed it too fat
I had nothing left to say.
If I could change the way things played out
I would never of hurt you.

Oh oh oh
I'm crying here
I'm pushed you all away again
I'm dying here
I want to change the way this all worked.
But I'll never get the chance
To tell you that I mean this
I'm sorry for what I've done
I never meant to push you away
I need you around.

I don't think I can do this,
I've done to much already.
I'm going to leave you all alone
So you can carry on.
I'm not going to be there to hurt you all
Or to make you worry anymore.
I'm not going to watch the pain in your eyes.
I've got to keep away....
Michaela Ferris
Written by
Michaela Ferris  24/F
(24/F)   
462
 
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