Am I tending to my leaves more than my roots? It feels less painful and more safe.

How do you heal a diseased root?

Why am I scared to leave?

Can we do a prayer together? Can you pray for me? Can you write me a letter or note that I can go back to and read when times get rough for me?

We tell people to go against their bodies...to remove themselves from protection as their nervous system understands it. Leave that person; be MORE in your body; say no.

I desire to live a more conscious life that's not as unconscious and habitual than most people.

I fear that I am luke warm. My faith is not stable right now and I don't want it to be but I know it's how I feel. It's hard. I don't know how to go about it. How to pursue. I worry I have intellectualized the gospel and now I struggle to listen to sermons. I find myself criticizing more than anything.