to the teacher that made a difference:

we were 11 when you first walked in,
so we met five years ago,
but we left one year later
with a naivety only a 12 year old like me could ever possess

In this four years, I am
no longer as simple-minded,
maybe I've grown to become a lot more cynical
that I would like to admit
But one thing still stand true to me
You made a huge difference in my life

I wonder a lot about you sometimes
how are you?
On days like these, when dark clouds loom over
I remember the word sinister
But I don't remember the definition
But when you told me "Good work!"
Do you know?
It was the first time in 5 years
I was finally good at something.
I wonder what you saw in us,
and I still do
Because no one; not even our own parents
thought we would ever amount to anything
And every time I pinned up my hair,
I would be reminded of you
and how you would tease me
about the hair that would fall over my eyebrows

In these four years,
I remember more moments,
more occasions where
I have hurting you
more than making you glow in pride
and maybe in one of our reunions
you saw the burn marks across my hand
that were just too straight and too close
too deliberate
to just be an accident

And in this four years,
You decided to give up teaching
to try photography instead
Maybe you decided that it was better
to capture the moments
Instead of creating an illuminating tomorrow
that might not even come true in the first place
or maybe you thought you didn't had a place in mine
or maybe you thought it would hurt less if you didn't
and maybe you've never thought of it
in this way
until you saw the scars travelling across my arm
telling its own story

And if you were here right now
would I still be a disappointment?
I suppose it would not matter in the first place
not when you don't think you deserve a role in my life
But I would still..
I'm sorry,
and thank you
for ever existing
in the first place