and then when i sat in the solace of solitude
was i filled with peace and a deep sense of gratitude
for i don't need noise to fill the silence or somebody to help me breathe
because the very essence of my being is enough to lead
me to a life where my smile depends on nobody
and i shall continue to laugh even when abandoned by everybody
i am happy not being a part of their pictures anymore
and content with my cup of coffee and myself to the core
maybe even the unanswered questions and the unasked "whys"-
-"why did she stop talking to me? why did they exclude me? why did he do that to me? -made me finally say goodbye
to an unhealed part of me that longed to be loved
a toxic trait that made me want to be wanted
so all the notions of "bonds" did end up shoved
to a corner in my head which with time feels less haunted
because now i don't really care "why" did all that happen after everything i did
maybe there wasn't any actual answer to- "where did i go wrong"
because when everything was crystal clear i decided to close my lids
and pretend that everything's fine, this is where i belong
but now, i feel free, without an ounce of guilt
i gave it my all and it still didn't work so be it
for i can live the way i like without feeling aghast
dear reader, there's nothing wrong with being an outcast