Ice cream melts on my hand,
My face is dripping as I get off the keg stand.

I tug insecurely at my braids, the left thicker than the right.
**** I've gained weight, my skirt is too tight!

I shed a tear, I've stubbed my toe.
I failed an exam five times in a row.

I stayed up so late watching TV.
"Her abs are killer!" I stare with envy.

I can't find my new favorite pen.
I lost mine. Can I hit off yours, my friend?

My shoes don't twinkle anymore,
What did I do to make them call me a -