if i sanded my edges
swallowed my pride
sought redirection
put in the time

i wonder if it might be different

if i knew better then
trusted intuition
recognized the signs
curbed indecision

if our boundaries didn't collide

do you still see the future
is it still a blinding white
or did it vanish when i did
like i turned off the light
do you miss me just a little
or suppose it wasn't all in vain
do you want to remember
or do i just feel that way

hanging my jacket
the living room's empty
the last door clicks
and then it all hits me

all my efforts were fruitless

who am i
to think that we could do this
the ease of your absence
all but proves it

and i should have tried to take it gently

but it was still unsure
yet familiar at the same time
i reached for what i knew
but my affections were denied
i couldn't talk to you
or make things alright
it was either the truth
or self-degrading lie

and in all honestly
if it didn't end so ugly
i wouldn't have left it there
i could've made something from nothing

and i bet you'd still put rocks in my pockets

so i'll avert my eyes
try to change the topic
hide my hands
embrace the caustic

i'm still learning that you didn't love me