John hated his mother because she was an alcoholic for a long time before most people were born. 1 day, as mom lay drunk at the bottom of a small hill, John decided to get help. 500 men were dispatched with shovels. The digging was relentless. It took 3 days of 3 eight-hour shifts before the task was completed. Finally, John and his mother were friends again: laughing, singing, jumping over each other like ******* weirdos.