One night the room span
And I just couldn’t concentrate
My heart raced to a hundred beats
As I started to slowly lose weight

I lost the love for drinking
And smoked far to much
My thinking became unclear
And I spoke double Dutch

I didn’t want to go out
The world became a scary place
My energy became zero
And my head went into space

I thought of a thousand illnesses
Did I have one of those
Hoping blood tests would find them
I became withdrawn and quite morose

Crying became a problem
When I spoke about it all
Showers were non existent
I felt alone and very small

Sleeping was a nightmare
Wondering if I could
The days just seemed to be different
When they never really should

Forgetting my beans in Aldi
Scared me half to dead
I lost focus on my favourite programmes
And wondered why the interest left

I lost focus off things I loved
And I developed a lost stare
When I drove my kids to school
I just floated along on air

I think they call that brain fog
But fog usually clears
This fog was going nowhere
I even lost the tears

Fleeting moments of sadness
Shivering happened a lot
Struggling to have conversations
A nod is the most they got

Medication was given to me
Which made me into a snail
Mentally drained and feeling weak
It became my usual tale

At the moment I’m in limbo
Waiting for CBT
I’ve had all that before
And hopefully it’ll help me

I’m writing this poem for focus
Cause I need to connect again
But at the moment its just not happening
I’m wandering aimlessly through the rain

If anyone has this problem
Please give me a shout
The more talking you can give me
The more it’ll help me out