Daddy, how do hobos stay warm in the winter? Well son, hobos are just like you and me except they're drunk most of the time and sleep behind abandoned Kmarts. They stay warm by eating a well-balanced breakfast and wearing lots of clothes. What about when it's so cold their ***** ache? Hobos usually wear heated underpants. A small wire runs through the front part and transfers heat with the magic of D batteries. Can other batteries be used? No, only D batteries. What about double-A batteries? Shut up! No! You shut up! Make me! I don't make trash, I burn it! That's another way for homos, I mean hobos, to warm up, by burning trash.