(In the musical PETER PAN, Captain Hook, in the song "Captain Hook's Waltz" by Jule Styne, Adolph Green and Betty Comden, boasts about his villainy. Here Donald Trump, who prides himself on being as obnoxious as possible, sings his version. The responses of his admin team are in parentheses.)

I'm the greatest ruler of all time.
Who was Mussolini?
(Nobody!)
Who was ******?
(Nobody!)
Who is Vladimir Putin?
(Nobody!)

Who's the greatest deceiver of all?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Who's the MOST shameless man in this dog-eat-dog world?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Expert at knowing how someone can dupe
Others by showing how low ANY dictator can stoop.
(He'll stoop!)

Who's the basest of bullies around?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Who's unpliable?
(You!)
Unreliable?
(You!)
Who do some think could be certifiable?
(You!)
And who couldn't care less if the rest of the world's in a slump?
(World's in a slump!)
(No one else but Donald Trump.)
…
Who's the neediest?
(Neediest!)
Who's the seediest?
(Seediest!)
Who's the greediest?
(Greediest!)

Who's the MOST expert fibber around?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Who's displaceable?
(You!)
Ineffaceable?
(You!)
Who rich oligarchs find irreplaceable?
(You!)
Who's the slimiest, snakiest, snarkiest, scruffiest grump?
(Scruffiest grump!)
(All bow down to the king!)
If you want you can kiss my ring.
(The con with a plan.)
I guess I'm your man.
(Donald)
Trump
(Trump! Trump!... Trump! Trump!)
Trump
(Trump! Trump!... Trump! Trump!)
Trump!

-by Bob B (2-3-25)