THE DAY MY MOTHER TRIED TO **** ME WITH ADVANCED MEGA-STRENGTH! Nobody wants to be killed by their mother with advanced mega-strength except ex-lesbians and weirdos. I was in the attic sorting through brassieres & girdles when suddenly I was attacked by my mother. Yes! She had been bitten by a vampire in Venezuela and was thirsty for blood. Hurriedly, or even quickly, I crossed 2 marijuana cigarettes to form a cross and then I karate-chopped her across the shin and she died. I certainly learned a valuable lesson that day.