Hi. I wish to speak with Leonard J. Lorkenheimer. I'm sorry but Mister Lorkenheimer is unable to come to the phone. Why? Because he was killed in an avalanche fifteen years ago. Well, let me speak with his brother then. No can do. Why? Mister Lorkenheimer and his brother were Siamese twins, joined at the navel. Oh. What about their sister Paula Lorkenheimer? Sorry. She was eaten by cannibal Pygmies last April.