I was once a pugilist
A boxer of note
I got beat in three rounds
Against  Mohammed Ali
He became known as the goat.
I was once a sprinter
Runner up was my spot
This spot  Was not my fault
Couldn’t catch the
Master, Mr Usain Bolt.
I was once a snooker player
Snooker cue in hand
Played Ronnie O’Sullivan
For a miserly 500 grand
Really wasn’t about the
Money I couldn’t
Give a toss
You know the outcome
I got thrashed,
I jolly
Well lost.
I played football it’s called
The beautiful game
Played for Leeds United
There’s where I got my fame.
I got paid millions,
Millions every year
Never to be a winner
Now that’s ****** queer