THE LESS DEAD THE WETTER - The stillness of the ***** gang fascinated me, for obviously they were between public assistance hand-outs and keen to fleece a random Whitey. But either I was too clever or too stupid because after posing a crude math riddle the yellowed whites of their eyes bulged out like the comedic Negroids of olde always did when confronted by a B-movie ghost.

I CAN'T REMEBER EVER BEING SO FORGETFUL especially with regards to precious recollections like the time I guarded the king of Greece and his lovely wife Queen Helga. They were so much in love then, Helga with her soft ***** and the king with his large underpants.