My brother Simon brought his new girlfriend round for dinner last night. Her name is Sharon and she's as thin as a rake.

Me and Fat Bertha were tucking into a Chinese Takeaway while Sharon made hard work of a bowl of lentil soup.
Simon had a bowl as well. I think he had it to impress her. Usually he would have what everyone else was eating.

"'Ere Sharon, do you want a pancake roll?", piped up Bertha.

Sharon politely shook her head.

"Oh well, waste not, want not." continued Bertha as she stuffed the entire Pancake Roll in her gob.

I saw Simon almost laugh but quickly covered it up with a fake cough.

Mum, never one to beat about the bush, joined in,

"How come you so skinny Sharon? ",

she then addressed Simon,

"Can't you feed her up, son? Your brother's got the right idea, Bertha ain't shy of a plate of food.",

Mum turned towards me and my beautiful babe,

"Plenty to love there, eh son?"

I laughed and nodded enthusiastically while Bertha polished off a spare rib.

Mum's right of course.

I hope Simon is happy with Sharon but
I suspect it won't last. I doubt he'll be able to keep up the act for much longer.

Not everyone can be as lucky in love as me and Fat Bertha.