Where did you
learn to cook
From a
Jack and Jill
Cookery book.

Is this all the
Best you can do
This is cat food
this is
Not a stew.

You come on the show
Tried to do a roast
You should have
Stuck to beans on toast.

You can’t cook
You make horrible cakes
Your not fit to wash
The plates.

Celebrities on my TV
Trying to cook
Not for me.
I wonder what’s all the fuss
They pushed poor Dave
Under the cookery bus.

Did he deserve that
first course
He got bad afters
Celebrities
showing
No remorse

BBC  will stab you in the back
Then give you the -ucking sack
All cookery programmes a
Waste
Of time
Did Dave really commit
A horrible  crime.