I cannot deny my unique ***** heritage. Born in jail, my mammy hid me under her mattress for 14 years where I grew long and lean and able to lift a prison bunk with my mind. I was also self-taught to count to twenty, forward and backward. Later, after my appendix burst, I sought the man of my dreams (a New York ****). We would live under a bridge, "the homosexual bridge of love." One day I'll become a Christian and wreck a helicopter or maybe a car and eat pizza with a spoon (just for fun).