Time heals all wounds.
We've all heard this saying, some even believe it.
I don't.
It's one of the biggest lies I've ever heard,
right up there with 'It'll get easier' and 'It won't hurt forever'.

I know that they are lies
because I've spent more than half my life
living in a world where you no longer breathe;
a world where your heart no longer beats.

The truth is that time heals nothing,
it doesn't get easier
and so far it has hurt forever.

Loosing you hasn't gotten easier,
I've just gotten better at putting my pain and longing into a box.

Packed away in the back of my emotional closet
and hidden from the world.

It doesn't hurt any less today than it did seventeen years ago.
It's not easier,
it's not less painful
and I sure as hell don't miss you less.
In fact,
I miss you more.

I miss you more
For all the things I cannot tell you and share.
I miss you more
With every thought of you.
I miss you more
For my children that you'll never meet and
who'll never know the amazing uncle you would have been.

I miss you more for all these reasons, plus a million more;
each reason is salt
in a gaping, never-healing wound.

I miss you more
even when I pack it back in the box
and hide it away again.

Today...
Every today, I miss you most.