Ive been trapped
And stuck
Ever since I was little
Other than
Those
Little tiny snippets of
Normal

Age 3
Staring at the cars
All in a row
While they yell
In the background;
Stuck

Age 3
In the grass
On a sunny day
With all the room to play;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 5
I cried and cried
As my only friend
And our dog
Died;
Stuck

Age 5
On the swing
Reaching way up high
To touch the clouds
Watching me
From the sky;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 7
Late at night in a campground
As I hear people shout
And break things
Not so far from me
But I just needed the code
To the bathroom
To ***;
Stuck

Age 7
At the beach
Feet in the sand
Face all red from the heat
And water in my hair
As I laugh with a random stranger;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 8
Moving to a house
And thinking its great
Until the knife marks
Blood stains
And undergarments
In the fire place;
Stuck

Age 8
Finding the rockface
And seeing the first sunset
From my tall mountain advantage;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 9
Feeding me lies
As he steals my soul
And anything I ever had within;
Stuck

Age 9
Camp arrowflight
Smores
Friends
Games
Sunburns
And sleeping under the stars;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 10
Blades across skin
Blood dripping onto the floor
From my wrist
And from within
Places he shouldn't be;
Stuck

Age 10
Friends houses full of
Laughs
Smiles
Fun toys to be a kid with
And many places to explore
With our imagination as our feet wander
Anywhere beyond there;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 12
Running into the night
Afraid but free
As I walk for hours
Until my final destination
Where I stay
Until found;
Stuck

Age 12
Finally moving in with a friend
And the family
Seeing peaceful
Not dysfunctional;
Tiny snippet of normal

Age 13
He defiles my body
My boyfriend to be
But I love him
So I'm his;
Stuck

Age 13
Exploring new places
With a new family
Smiles on our faces;
Tiny snippet of normal

Age 14
Back again
Back with him
Because you love him
So you're his
And so am I;
Stuck

Age 14
Exploring a ravine
Free
And calm
With music by my side
For the first time
My own;
Tiny snippet of normal

Age 15
It happens again
But this time
I dont bleed from within
Just from my thighs
And my wrists
Before I escape;
Stuck

Age 15
Moving in somewhere new
Cuddles and games
And kisses
And so much soft affection
From you;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 16
You cheated
On me
I scream and I kick
I hate you
Get away from me;
Stuck

Age 16
Walks to the store
Inside jokes and park runs
Full of smiles and laughs
And we finally got a cat;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 17
I must once again flee
As I am blamed
For the truth of another
And they all
Want me gone;
****

Age 17
There isnt a little tiny snippet of normal.

Age 18
You defile me
And she allows it
As she loves you
So she is yours
And I must be too
But you're not the same love
As before
No
You're new;
Stuck

Age 18
Applying for my own money
Getting new supports
Getting better help
Finding people who love me
So I am theirs
But this time they don't know
My reasons
As they never force it;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 19
Youve done it again mom
Found a new love
Who declares me his
As much as yours
But this time
I stay away
And you keep him
At bay
But you're suffering;
Stuck

Age 19
A month away
Practically on my own
A lifelong dream
Trips with my own money
To places that make me happy
And a new friend
Who likes me
For me;
Little tiny snippet of normal


These little tiny snippets of normal
Keep me going
And keep me sane
But everytime they disappear
So does my hope
Of getting away

Little tiny snippets of me
Fading away