for all the good:
mushy-mushy feelings
i had when
giving that beggar-woman
20 squid
to go and shelter herself
feom storm Bert
disappeared today
as i saw her again
outside the shop...
and she asked me again
for money without that
formerly inclined mystique
of addressing me
as a kind, young, man...
two volunteers were also
there collecting for charity:
or "charity": some bogus
Humpty-Dumpty cause for
bureaucratic leeches...
and the beggar-woman:
i didn't care by then...
i reprimanded her...
"reprimanded": no...
i scolded her...
she asked me again as if
a ghost without a shadow...
another yet another passerby
or personna-non-grata:
in her orbit of imploring
me for money again "we" were
both kindred spirits...
but first time i was made to feel
like a ******* donkey...
second time: first time i gave
the woman fish...
second time i could see
no need for skills in fishing:
none were available to begin
with: no netsno rods...
so what? more free fish
more Israelite laments about
the land of milk and honey:
manna from heaven?
it's Saturday night...
classic.fm rather than BBC
radio 3: only because it's movie
night with Jonathan Woss...
lisp dyslexic no trill of the R...
so i scolded her:
don't ask me again!
last week i gave you 20 squid!
i fell for your charm
the first time round...
there are 7 million other people
in this urban vicinity...
what if they each gave you
a penny each?!
you took advantage of
my weakness: not my goodness...
well... well... it wasn't in so
many words...
poignant: point being:
do good... as long as it feels good...
there is no point pretending
you're doing good:
if and absolutely if:
it doesn't feel good...
which is "paradoxical":
since when people perform evil
they feel good... or do they?
maybe they don't feel anything...
but at least do good because
it feels good... it's never about
being: good...
being is beyond good and evil:
doing isn't...
some Latin: to better probe
punctuation:
esse ist ultra bonum et malum:
after all what is grey
is also what is what is:
when white trickling into black
makes of it:
not colour but a diluted night
that emerges as a fog...
there is no beyond this
bilingual (elevated)
schizophrenia (de-elevated)...
what am i? a walking fudgery
of pretend good will:
i did no good giving her 20quid
the first time around...
i was plagued with doubts...
with questions...
then came the resolving answer
the second time she asked
and with no Disney-theology
allure of me fearing this
might be a haggard woman
to later turn into an Enchantress
that i might be turned into
a beast that no one could love...
well... someone does love me...
ergo? c'est la vie!
there are people in place
and organisstions who are there
given how asylums once were
and no longer are...