i'll dream of you someday
not in the good-warmth fuzzy-feeling
limbs entwined and comfort promised
way, no, not in the bright-day fresh-faced
morning comes and i follow way, no
new-found steps and early cups of tea
shirts unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up,
no mutual joy and mutual sorrow and
goodbyes turned hellos turned i-love-yous

i'll dream of you someday
tipped in regret and laced with nostalgia
pointedly distant and further driven
deeper dug under my skin, veins bulged
almond scented and pillow still warm,
it will be untitled poems never read but
thought hard, words unspoken kept
pressed against the breast-pocket of
woolen pajamas now soaked through,
puffy-eyed stares in silent mornings
and blemishes on a salt-dried face

but when i wake it will be ashes,
not gathered, but spread, verily
wind-swept taken to seaside views
in gold-flecked divine proportion.
it will be deep breaths in and deep breaths out
and life that feels too much to live
but i will live it anyway.