I feel like a larger-than-average Jersey City ***** facing the sizzling tunnel of love alone now that you've left me for an ex-lesbian dental hygienist. Oh, I can't verbalize the horrifying regret & sorrow that I feel while plumbing the inner-core of my sassy neighbor's virginal womanhood like an Eskimo gynecologist from Unalaska. It will be a frigid day in Heaven when I get my outer toes removed because I need them for swimming in the Blue River of Disappointment which feeds the Green Sea of Unhappiness.