My life is a cycle of the same mistakes
with the consequences violently increasing all of the time
But my world could fall apart around me, and I wouldn't blink

Foolishly, I try to tell myself how I've learned from my mistakes
But only on nights like these
4 AM. Alone.
Will I let my mind wander towards my reality

It's nights like these when I can feel true terror
I hate my past, but fear my future
Not because I know where I am headed
But because I have no motivation to change

I have yet to even consider what I might choose as a career
I have absolutely no passions
I don't see myself living beyond 30
But my real fear lies in the fact that I don't care

But in about 8 hours I will wake up, and push it out of my mind
And you and I might sit, making dumb jokes about irrelevant mistakes
And I will tell myself it's fine, I'm fine
And so the cycle continues

I wish I hadn't been here before
I wish I didn't know what you'd say if I told you the truth
I wish there was a chance
But I know all too well

So I keep pretending