i don't know what to do
with myself.

i sit, i stare,
and i wait
for something i know
will never happen
because he-
because you-
you gave up on me
and trying to believe
that even a friendship
could exist between us

i sit and i stare
at your name on my screen
as if your presence was
radiating off of
simple letters used to
identify yourself
and i hesitate-

i sit and stare
as my mouse skims
your name
and goes to another part
of the page
because i don't
know you well enough
anymore to start a conversation

i sit - stare - wonder
if one day i will not feel
like such a bother to you
whenever we exchange words

but until then,
i think i will
sit and stare
and wonder