TIMMY AND THE ABANDONED MINE SHAFT - Look out Timmy! It's an abandoned mine shaft! I know. I read the title. There should be a sign saying ABANDONED MINE SHAFT but there isn't for some reason that's unknown to me at this time. Maybe someone stole it? If only we could replace the stolen sign with a shiny new one? But how? The sign store's closed, just like the underwear shop. Let's pray for a sign. Maybe Jesus will tell us what to do? Maybe. Jesus is busy, what with Christmas 6 weeks away. Yes. What about Mohammed? He's always available. Sure, we could try Him. Do you know any Mohammedans? A few of my ex-lesbian lovers worshiped Him. What are their names? Cathy with a C and Lolla with 3 L's. Contact them now while I try on these **** bikini briefs. Okay.