My dead mother's friend Gene loved World War 2 a lot, more than his grandson loved ******* and ***. One day Gene was in the yard killing a mole with a rake when Jimmy, the grandson, brought over an enormous birthday cake that read: "Happy Birthday Grandpa!" The cake was from Publix. Jimmy didn't shoplift it. It cost $15. Lots of junkies are caring people who love their grandparents a lot. A few days later there was another mole in Gene's yard and, out of the goodness of his heart, Jimmy smashed it flatter than a pancake with a shovel.