TOUCH ME IN THE NIGHT WITH A BROOM, **** JANITOR OF MY DREAMS! Don't gloat suicidal teen of bloat. You're not the only one who thinks acting dumb's fun. Just because you're very pretty doesn't mean that people have to listen to you, even though they will because you're very pretty.

JOHN WASHED HIS **** IN A DISH WASHER TO SAVE TIME as Tammy applied make-up with a chain saw. "Hurry, or we'll be late for the dog-******* contest!" Jim yelled from the balcony as hordes of Hawaiians marched into the sea.

I LOVED YOU LIKE A MILLIONAIRE LOVES ANOTHER MILLIONAIRE but that wasn't good enough! You cheated on me with my Siamese twin sister while I had my back turned. Mistaken identity my ***! You are well aware when we're in bed watching television, I'm the woman to your immediate left.

ENGLAND AND THE ROYAL GLAND - Diana kept 2 embalmed weasels in her royal underwear drawer "just in case" and Charles did likewise. The queen was very concerned because this tradition (the weasel thing) was started during the Great War and should've ended with it but it didn't. Later, after the queen crapped-out, Charles had his glandular prostate difficulties that shocked the world. Crude drawings of the inflamed part (of his prostate gland) were made by school children. Young Tommy Walters won a trip to the Bermuda Triangle. Everybody cheered.