Are your pans chef-tested? My what? Pans. What does that mean? Hey! Climb down off my ***! No, my pans are not tested by chefs. They are non-chef-tested. What about your spatulas? Yes, a chef came 'round yesterday and beat his boyfriend unconscious with a large spatula. Lovers' quarrel. I see. We offer omelets for 5 bucks, no returns, mustard optional. Are you gay? Not anymore. An ex-lesbian forced me to act like a normal chef for once in my life.