IMPROVING A *****'S LIFE WITH RELIGION - I know you're mentally ******* but that was an hour ago, so now you're okay, climbing up and down my *** like a truck driver on Zyprexa. Don't muck it up mucky pup! I'll load the cannon before the morning gets hot and you'll fire the ****-shot, while mama naps on an army cot in the yacht that daddy bought. My improved parachute is a "care-a-shoot" because it can land you gently in daisies after a soft glide, even though you got more bullet holes in your **** than Bonnie and Clyde. Ben and I were passionately in love (with each other) till the day "she" came into our lives. I was working at Dairy Queen trying to gain weight when Benny landed his helicopter on the roof. There were asphalt shingles flying everywhere. Later, after I had Ben's child, we moved to Sumatra to live beneath the royal palm trees that dance in the breeze. "Oh Ben, why can't we love each other with the fiery passion that we once knew?"