My foot swoll up more than it normally does when I'm bitten by a wild Lithuanian with influenza (if the germ theory's true, which it ain't). "Pass the Rolling Rock Beer because I'm ready for the return of Jesus!" I instructed the pope louder than is permissible in Naples. The pope turned and spat as if to ask: "Does a bear **** in the woods?" I was ready to commit a felony upon him when a vision of ****** Mary overtook me like a Honda overtakes a V.W. Passat. "Vincent, don't **** the pope," she said so I didn't. One day when you're sicker than 2 hungry dogs at the airport, I'll be there with my medical kit to cure you," the ****** added. "Thanks Mary, I'm glad you're a ******. It gives me & my **** sister hope for a brighter future, one of absolute virginity that's forever & eternal!" I proclaimed with a firmness that could choke a chicken that's 2 counties west of me. One day Vincent Van Gogh visited his friend Sally's house near Mona's house. Sally was so nice and she had perfect teeth that every dentist wanted to write important dental articles about but she wouldn't let them. "Drop dead!" She'd holler whenever a dentist started to write about her teeth. Sally also made extra money chewing food for toothless men who were malnourished and feared metal detectors. Vincent Van Gogh & Sally loved to share ****** intimacies with their best friend Mona who owned imported *** toys from Sweden. "Let's use one without ribs!" Sally would excitedly suggest. "Yes," Vincent Van Gogh agreed. "That one makes me dream of colder climates where polar bears and Eskimos live together in total harmony especially in Alaska. Vinnie gagged like a maggot as 350 pounds of solid lesbian woman tackled him in the ****. Her large ***** came down on him like bowling ***** from the skies as his testicles felt the force of her thunderous thighs. "Can't sell a painting you 1-eared hoser?!" She exclaimed just to rub it in. "I sold one last year!" He snapped back. "Last year my fragrant ***!" She retorted in a rough voice like Brenda Vaccaro when she was selling Kotex rags. "Just a minute here! I'm Vincent Van Gogh!" He protested. "Vincent Van Narrow Pecker!" She snapped back like a hoser from Denmark with pink-eye. Later, after she had her lesbian fun, a large ear surgeon arrived to sew it back on. "Now you look like a million bucks and you can **** regular women and sell paintings like crazy all day if you wanna," the surgeon mused while taking off his uniform to **** the **** for 2 hours straight without stopping, not even for a hamburger & fries with a medium Pepsi.