On september 10th
i waited on my couch
you told me that you
would meet me here
but all of a sudden you
were hesitant
you said that i was just
going to try to lure you back in

even though you never said that
in words
i knew that that
is what you meant

and i want you to know you
were wrong

and by 6 o'clock i was still waiting on that
**** couch for you to show
and then by 12 midnight
laying low in my bed
with salty tears falling
forming an ocean
id drown in
id realize then
that you were not going to show
you never
let me say the things
i wanted to say

because you were afraid
that id lean in to kiss you
or id lean in to hold you

but i believe that was your own fear
it was your fear
that if you had shown up
you would have want me to have done those things

and now that i have the
chance to say what
i want to say
ill say it to everyone
because when it was 3 am
and i was still crying for you
you had lost your chance
to have any secrecy

you see these hands?
they are of a human
and they have painted mistakes
that you can not bare to look at
because the paintings were for you
and you could not understand
how i could paint such madness
and then tell you the truth
and thats why you ran away
and proved to me that you are pretending
its been months and i am alone
because i am not afraid to show  what
im feeling
you have somehow convinced
yourself
that all the contradictions
you have made somehow make sense
blaming me for never having
time for your friends
when really you still lie to
them
because of your new girlfriend

you two started dating only a few weeks
after it was over
because you had thought i was
doing the same thing to you
but you were wrong
somehow trying to convince me
you are still hurt because
at one point my heart was in a different place
but then telling her
that you loved her the whole time
and never loved me anyway
so tell me how i could cause you pain
when you never loved me anyway

tell me that

but you know its all a good story
to add to your fantasy
and if you want me to remember you
as a liar
then its working
and then
you're the bad guy
and maybe you were the whole time
but i know you loved me
more than anyone
because i was your first

and even with your
baggy eyes and a forced frown
you pass by me to this day
and still can not take your eyes off me
and i know when you get home
you pretend to be happy
that it was from her house
but there are nights
you get home
and you lay facing away from the door
remembering there was a time
i filled the space
between you and the
sheets of drywall
and id wake you up after
11 o'clock
and say baby i have to get home
and you'd get up and drive me
and as i would leave
you couldn't take your eyes off me

and i hope
you and your new girlfriend are happy
but i still believe its all a show
because when i am around
and i see you two
she is all over you
laughing loud
and smiling a little bigger
because my eyes
are watching
because she knows
that the orginal is always better than the copy
and she is just a copy baby
she even knows
when she needs to let everyone
know you two are together it shows
because there will never be
anyone who will love you
when you cry
holding you a little tighter
but everyday i
i find out how much you lied
and i guess ive come to realize
that i don't love you anymore
but i miss you all the time
and that it just as worse

i dont understand how many worlds you can possibly
live in
and I'm afraid  your lies
may catch up to you
especially
when you are holding her close
and saying she is your world
but tell me this
if you are holding the whole world
then how the hell are you living in it?