God, you said that you would defend me when I was shamed that you would shame those that try to harm to me. I feel alone and that is not okay. I'm living the part you said you would do without obeying. I have been as obedient as I could, and I get it. I guess this is what is expected, the only thing is that did you not say, "for if I am with you who could be against you?" So then why am I still going through this? Have you turned away? What is in my mind drives me crazy, but what's in my heart draws me closer to God. My friends in my heart lead me to sin. Where are you holy spirit? I go and walk and you're not close enough. I miss you and I need you, come to me and stay close help me with my friends. I don't want to lose you. I love you and you're not close enough. Sin is bigger come to me get enormous, bigger than this sin. Amen