needles and pins
if not now then when
a thought makes me wince
i loathe myself for needing

to be high for this
and thinking about him
might not give into my whims
but it's not a good way of thinking

staring out but lost deep within
hearing nothing but the wind
phantasizing fingertips
i feel shame for dreaming so freely

but then again
i'll never touch another skin
so does it even count as sin
if you knew, would you leave me?