N.A.T.O. Major Roger "Big Nig" Coleman stuffs ****** with hurricane insurance documents before jumping from observation deck of the Empire State Building; lands on street below uninjured; sues borough alderman for 50 million dollars. Barbara Roberts and Ken Carson get realistic genitals grafted on their plastic crotches; Barbie still can't be impregnated due to absent ******, ****** and ovaries; Ken is threatening two dozen major lawsuits. ***** invasion continues: Democrats "import" another half-million East African criminals and psychotic South Sea islanders to rig ALL future U.S. elections. In desperation, N.A.S.A. extorts 30 billion dollars from Social Security trust fund to crash another "land rover" on Paramount studio planetoid. New study confirms: large women are "sleepy lovers." Women in excess of 400 pounds can't feel ***** ******* due to adiposity; new ***** lengthener extends average ***** to 17 inches.